"Useless information is driving me insane..."
(Sting)

[Editor's note: In response to Phil's special edition of useless information, I took it upon myself -- at no extra charge to you, the viewer -- to add as many useless links as I can find. It's a "value-added" thang. As you read through this orbit, you will notice that the frequency of the links increase. It was not by design; I just got carried away with it -- it certainly delayed publication of this obit for some time, and left friends and families wondering if I was still alive. I am, and here is the result of Phil's and my efforts: a totally useless edition of Planet Proctor with totally useless (but whimsical) links. I hope you enjoy it. I'm going to take a long vacation now. - RJA, ed.]

OK, LET'S GET STARTED...

 

YOU ANIMAL!!!

 

IN A WORD!

[1. Impertinent editorial footnote: Tom Lehrer once proved that a rhyme with orange is possible: "Eating an orange/ While making love/ Makes for bizarre enj-/ Oyment thereof." - RJA, ed.]

 

YOU DON'T SAY?

 

WHAT'S IN A NAME...

 

WHO CARES?

 

WHY EVEN BODY?

 

TAKE A NUMBER

 

OUR NUMBER'S UP

 

BUT FIRST...

 

IT'S HISTORY...

 

THE CHAOS THEORY LIVES

P.P.S. Thanks to you all, and especially to L.M.. Boyd of Sampler fame, (who seems now to have disappeared), and if you really can't get enough of this stuff, go out and buy every edition you can find of "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" by the Bathroom Readers' Institute, St Martin's Griffin, NY.

Oh, I almost forgot: the average woman's bra size is 34B.

 

Published 2/09/98

PLANET PROCTOR
1996/2002 by Phil Proctor