I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown



MOSCOW (Reuter) - A Russian security guard killed a man in a fight and then cut him up and made him into stew for dogs, the Itar-Tass news agency said Tuesday. He hit the man on the head with a stick and when he realized he had killed him, tried to hide the corpse by cutting it into pieces. "And then he thought, ‘Why waste a good thing? Let the dogs eat him,’ and began to make stew, whereupon his neighbor caught him," Tass said, quoting a Tolyatti newspaper. Police arrested the guard and were trying to identify the victim.




ROCKVILLE, MD. (AP) - A carefully carved ice sculpture at the center of an exclusive country club cocktail party sounds pretty highbrow. Unless of course that piece of art is of a top-heavy naked woman with her knees up and legs spread. With vodka spouting from between her legs.

That was the main attraction at the Vodka Shootout cocktail party, held last weekend for men participating in a three-day golf tournament at Lakewood Country Club in Rockville, Md.

Needless to say, the sculpture has elicited an icy reaction from some of the club’s female members.




HONG KONG - In the grisliest demonstration yet of China’s shortage of women, two men have been arrested for digging up female corpses and selling them as wives for dead men.

The newspaper China Youth News reported Monday that the grave robbers in central Shaanxi in north-central China had been arrested for exhuming two dead women and selling them as "ghost brides." Poor men in China have traditionally been unable to afford the money demanded by prospective brides’ families for the loss of a working daughter and to pay some of the marriage expenses, and have sometimes been buried with a wooden figure representing a wife.

The corpses would have given the men the status of married men, rather than dying as "bare sticks," the Chinese name for an unmarried men. But the Shaanxi exhumations are probably a sign of the desperate gender imbalances in the Chinese countryside because of the one-child per family policy. (From Jonathan Mirsk (c) 1996, Times Newspapers Ltd., London. All Rights Reserved. Dist. by Los Angeles Times Syndicate).




Manni is an very smart guy. He invites teens for some photo session, well knowing that women are binded when doing such a job. Such as Manu. "Come, I must have you from the backside once again. In this position I can strike you very deep on your chubby arse. Jaa, komm, fuell mir meine Moese mit deinem Schwanz."

Mani and Manu incite it really wild. "Yeah, ohhh, that’s fantastic. Strike deeper. Oui, ouvre largement ta vulve! Let your tongue round about my tickler."

Both body vibrate of lust and excitement. Manu screams, "I wanna suck up your juice from your eggs!" They are confused by passion.

Jeannette and Brigitte are coming also in case of the things which are not written in the official prospect. The groaning and exhultation of them all shows clearly that they are specialists in lickering and that they are coming up on top speed. "Yeah, you have a fancy horn," Brigitte shouts out enthusiastic, "Pousse-moi ma fissure profondement."

Jacques drives up the sunlamp and begins to licker the love hole of Jeanette. All the others get more racy because of her wild roaring. Yeah, such a fock with four brings always variation. Wilder and wilder Jacques hammers on Jeanette. "Yeah, fantastic, ohhh, uihh, I feel it’s coming to me too. Come on you two guys, drain your sticks onto our bodys," the girls demands.

Rolf and Jaques rubble wildly and splash nearly at the same time their hot slime. "Yeah, yeah. I feel it coming up."

No winner of the competetion could be seen by now.

(All Models are Over 18 and all spellings are theirs, but it’s been adapted by Yours Unruly from "Teenage Foreign Lovers" Nr. 15.)




Slips of the tongue by U.S. politicians as compiled by Ted "Big Top" Bonnitt: "Facts are stupid things." -- Ronald Reagan, addressing the Republican National Convention in 1988. (He was misquoting John Adams, who in 1770 wrote: "Facts are stubborn things.")

"If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave." -- Newly inaugurated president Gerald Ford.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions- but I don’t always agree with them." . . ."I hope I stand for antibigotry, anti-Semitism, antiracism. That is what drives me." -- George Bush in 1988. (New York governor Mario Cuomo remarked that at least Bush had not offended Italians by declaring himself antipasto.)

"This is Pearl Harbor Day. Forty seven years ago to this very day, we were hit and hit hard at Pearl Harbor." -- George Bush, addressing the American Legion in Louisville, Kentucky, on September 7, 1988, three months off target. . . ."We have had triumphs, we have made mistakes, we have had sex." George Bush in 1988 speaking of his eight years as vice-president under Reagan. (He meant to say "we have had setbacks.")

"My first qualification for mayor of the city of New York is my monumental ingratitude to each and all of you." -- Fiorello La Guardia, on the night of his first election victory.

"Outside of the killings, we have one of the lowest crime rates." -- Marion Barry, mayor of Wash. DC in 1989.

"I think we’re on the road to coming up with answers that I don’t think any of us in total feel we have the answers to." -- Kim Anderson, mayor of Naples, Florida in 1991.

"Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we are going to succeed." -- Ronald Reagan in 1982. . . . "Now the simple truth is those Democrats who are here are probably here because like millions I’ve met across the country, they have found they can no longer follow the leadership of the Republican Party, which has taken them down a course that leads to ruin." -- Ronald Reagan in 1986 (campaigning on behalf of Republican candidate Jim Santini). . . "I didn’t go down there with any plan for the Americans, or anything. I went down to find out from them and learn their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries." -- Ronald Reagan in 1982, (responding to a question about whether his Latin American trip had changed his outlook on the region.)

"The first black president will be a politician who is black," -- L. Douglas Wilder, governor of Virginia in 1992.

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between parent and child." -- Dan Quayle in 1988, on bonding between parents and children. . . ."What a waste it is to lose one’s mind - or to not have a mind. How true that is. " -- Dan Quayle in 1989, (addressing the United Negro College Fund) . . . "I stand by all the misstatements." -- Dan Quayle in 1989, on his oratorical slipups.




LONDON, July 12 (Reuter) - Sleepwalkers can assault, rape and even murder in the course of their nocturnal perambulations, although being asleep is often of little use as a legal defense, a psychiatric conference heard on Friday.

Sleep-related sexual offending was the most common manifestation of the phenomenon, Dr Peter Fenwick of the London-based Institute of Psychiatry told a meeting of European psychiatrists. He cited an incident in Britain where a 27-year-old sleeping man climbed into bed naked with his female next door neighbour and her partner and began fondling her. He had opened his third-floor window and walked over a narrow parapet to her flat.

"When she awoke and screamed, he ambled out of the flat, through the kitchen and onto the parapet, slipped three floors and suffered mild head injuries," Fenwick said. "When it came to court the jury could not believe that you could walk a parapet like that in your sleep and he was found guilty."

In some other countries, like Canada, sleepwalking is seen in law as a variation of normal sleep. "They let all their sleepwalkers go. If you want to kill your mother-in-law, take her to Canada and say you had a sleepwalking episode," Fenwick said.

But in Britain, sleepwalking is regarded as a disease of the mind and insanity is the only defense against offending while asleep. Around one percent of adults sleepwalk, often when extremely tired or under the influence of alcohol.

The most common offense was sleepwalking naked, Fenwick said, though one slumberer mounted a motorbike in the nude and roared off into the countryside.

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." Mark Twain





Many of this issue’s items are thanks to Ted "Big Top" Bonnitt. Blame him. So long, pilgrim . . .


King Philip*


* An American Indian reference. look it up.


Published 11/28/96


© 1996/2002 by Phil Proctor